“My bride, you had to die and be born, I was waiting for you. I did not suffer looking for you, I knew that you would come, a new woman with what I adore, with your eyes, your hands, and your mouth but with another heart, who was beside me at dawn as if she had always been there to go on with me forever.”
I can’t begin to tell you how much I absolutely love this poem by Pablo Neruda, titled Tu Venias (You Would Come). Above is really only the last stanza of the poem but it pretty much sums up how I feel about the process I am in right now.
I feel like the past years of my life were a process of learning how to die. Galations 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.” Phillipians 3:10-11 says, “that I may know him and the power of his resurrection and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.”
Basically as we learn to die we then learn to live. Just like Braveheart said, “Every man dies, not every man truly lives”
I think that only now am I finally learning what “the life I now live” is. So funny that as I look up I realize that is what I named my blog so many years ago. The past few years have been fun but often painful. I’ve learned many lessons and some the hard way. I’ve experienced loss and death in friendships, finances, dreams and even physical loss of my Gramps. I’ve often felt like I was in the valley of dry bones it talks about in Ezekiel yet I couldn’t feel the breath of God or hear him speak.
There is a new wind blowing though. Out of a season of ashes and hardship I feel like the seeds that have been planted and watered in tears and loneliness awaiting the warmth of sun in their little hole in the ground are now beginning to sprout roots that would take hold and begin to support new life.
This is a root season. I may not see a full grown tree on the top of the surface but underneath the surface their is growth, strength and tenacity taking hold of the soil and nurturing what is purposed to be an incredible destiny. I am not discouraged to not see blooms but am incouraged that though some things had to die so the seed could fall and be planted, the death has not been in vain. After all if we never experienced death in some regard how would we be able to experience life and life abundantly.
At some point I am going to turn and see my incredible destiny, husband, family beside me and it’s going to be like it had always been there and would continue to go on forever.
Until then I will keep praying that the Lord would keep me hidden until my spring has come until i am “in his eyes as one who finds peace” (Song of Solomon 8:10b).
Live Life Extraordinary,
Alayna
